In the Shallows
by Trinitas
Summary: A conversation after speed-dating. Post-ep ficlet for "Private Lives." Chase/House/Wilson friendship.


**In the Shallows**

Chase leaves with House and Wilson, and throws the stack of index cards in his hand into the first rubbish bin they pass on the way to their cars: so much for speed-dating. He hadn't had high expectations—it's why he'd agreed to the bet at all, to bring some entertainment value to the whole thing—but exactly what would it have taken to get those women to see him as a bad prospect? As far as they'd known, he'd been unemployed and a condescending arse. Either of those should have done the job, never mind both together.

_Never bet against House._ He'd made that rule for after several losses himself early in his fellowship, and it'd been stupid to break it, but he really had thought most women had higher standards.

Maybe it's just the women who speed-date who're willing to forgive too much: not one of the women he's ever dated would have put up with him if he'd acted the way he had tonight. Even Karen, who'd kept a lighter in her bedside drawer—she'd demanded pain in bed, but she'd also expected common decency and respect, and—

And he is definitely letting this get to him too much.

"I am never doing that again!" Wilson says. There's a grimace on his face, and he's practically radiating tension. "Every woman I talked to tonight had a relative or two or three who'd died of cancer. Except the one whose _cat_ had died—"

"Your problem," House breaks in, "was that you pretended to care about all these people. You could've redirected the conversation, but you get off on offering a shoulder and a handkerchief to every damsel in distress."

"So, if I'm the knight in shining armor and Chase is the prince," Wilson says, "what exactly does that make you?"

"The jester," House says promptly, "who tells all the ugly truths, criticizes the system and gets away with it." Looking over at Chase, he says, "No way are you naïve enough not to know attractiveness gets you places."

"I did. But I assumed a job, a brain and decent manners counted more."

"Speed-dating encourages skewed standards," Wilson says. "The women who want a call based on a five-minute conversation aren't planning for deep connection and commitment; of course they're going to be…forgiving."

Cynicism says the word he didn't use was probably 'desperate.'

"And never underestimate that ever-popular 'I can fix him' complex," House says with a smirk. "If the surface looks good, presumably it can be booted into a job and through a charm school for some social graces."

"A dangerous presumption," Wilson says. Then, "And how were your dates? Clearly you weren't in full scathing form, so any interesting prospects?"

"Several morons, one liar who doesn't do it well enough, and one religious nut," House says. "Total waste of an evening I could have spent more productively watching porn."

"Social interaction isn't a waste," Wilson says.

"Right. Which is why you have a stress headache coming on and Chase looks like his rose-colored glasses just got punched in." A considering pause, then, "Scratch that; not a total waste. I still got to impart a useful life lesson. And made a hundred bucks."

"It was my own fault," Chase says. "Although I'm still deciding whether the problem was the setting or my basic assumptions."

"Never take dating advice from anyone with more divorces than you," House says flatly. "Or when you don't want to date in the first place."

He nods, says goodnight to them both and gets into his car, driving back toward the too-empty apartment.

Getting used to the space Cameron left in his life is difficult enough without trying for another relationship, particularly when he wonders if there weren't some fundamental problems with the last one.

Had it all been based on physical attraction, proximity and convenience? Had there been anything deeper between them than judgment of surfaces?

He wants to say no, but when their marriage had been so brief and broken so easily (when she'd left convinced what he'd done was House's fault, rather than look at Chase clearly and admit he'd made his own decision) he's not sure he wouldn't be lying to himself.

**END.**


End file.
